Exhaustion - to consume entirely.
This sums up how I feel. Breastfeeding is painful after two weeks of non-stop production. Add exhaustion to that and my entire body feels racked with pain. It's a good thing all other parts have healed from giving birth because now I can pay attention to the pains of caring for a newborn.
Guilt - feelings of culpability especially for imagined offenses or from a sense of inadequacy
I'm constantly feeling like I don't give Charlotte enough attention. When I'm feeding Sam I like to hid in my bedroom so I get caught up on drinks and snacks, maybe read some internet sites on my phone. Relax as much as possible because it reduces the pain. But I've started letting Charlotte into the bedroom so I can spend time with her too. She's into everything and driving me crazy, bouncing all over the bed, swinging her feet in my direction so I'm literally throwing her off which she thinks is funny. So while I have guests to help, I'll start locking her out again.
I need to get Sam on a regular eating schedule. He goes 4-5 hours in the night without eating but during the day wants fed every 2 hours. I think it's more due to waking from gas and then wanting to eat to be consoled rather than actual hunger.
I can't believe I'm considering going back to work in a week. These are crazy times!!!
4 comments:
Oh, I remember these times.
Everything seems so crazy. Going back to work in a week? Ohhhh, I wish you didn't have to.
Get some sleep anyway you can, as it sounds like you are doing. That is very important.
Does Charlotte sit quietly while being read to? Does she like to doodle? Try the reading to keep her quiet while still giving her some attention. If she like to doodle, get her a inexpensive drawing board (Dollar Store, Dollar General, Under Five) that she can draw on while she sits next to you. Give her something that she can do while you SIT together. Also, nurse on the sofa so you can see her and talk with her. You may have to get lots of pillows to prop Sam up with, that's ok. Charlotte does need your attention right now too.
I suggested feeding him every three hours. However, looking back, at least two of my kids were every two hours babies too. He is a boy. Boys, and a big boy like he is, are often good eaters. This will taper off at some point. So, take some relief in that.
Anyway that you could take more time off work and let Mike work more for a little while? Four weeks is nothing. Sorry you have to go back so soon!
Sit quietly? You haven't met Charlotte! She only sits quietly when she's bone tired!!!
I'm finally getting caught up on my rest. Mike takes over for Sam all night while I do the barest minimum of feeding him and then I get up at 7 to take care of Charlotte, move Sam to her room and Mike sleeps in an extra 3 hours.
No, I haven't met Charlotte yet. Hopefully someday! :)
Glad you are getting some sleep. It's so nice that Mike helps as he can. I felt like a walking zombie for the first two or three months. And it's nice of you to give him that extra three hours. Love that you have this down. Give a little, take a little. Nice!
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