There are a few things that can get me really down on a trip like this. One of them is missing my family but that can usually be fixed with a SKYPE call. This time though, it made me feel worse. My youngest is not eating, she's lethargic and fell asleep on my husband at 6pm. This is NOT my firecracker almost 2 year old. Usually she's making funny faces and jabbering away. I don't know if she's depressed or what. Nothing makes me want to turn right around and come home like a sad sick child.
I talk with them for almost 40 minutes until it's time for them to get dinner started and then I go back to bed, curl up in a ball and pray for her. I know I'm in danger of slipping into a depression and being alone that cannot be a good thing. I recall a verse in the Bible that says "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." - Matthew 11:28. Suddenly I remember there is a Calvary Chapel service on Saturday night that should be already started. Get back up, turn on the computer.
It's a slow progress but listening to Pastor Bob snaps me out of my funk and I remember my purpose. I'm not here for myself, I'm here in this place specifically to help my co-worker Sunny (yes that's her name!) in Vietnam get through a difficult work week. I'm here for her, not myself. I was also reminded of the following verse:
Galatians 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
How can I be these things this week if I'm longing for home? I can't, I need to ask God for the strength and wisdom to live for others this week, not myself, not my own desires.
I have faith that God will heal Violette and help her through whatever is troubling her little heart; we don't believe she's sick because there are no physical signs. I think she is very sad in missing me; we've been so close lately and I miss her too. There is something so special about one year olds, they can't talk yet so they use many other ways to get your attention. She's precious and I can't wait to get home to her and my other rambunctious kids, but for now I'm here for two weeks and I need to find peace in where I'm at and what I need to accomplish.
And just in case Charlotte and Sam are reading this some day, I miss you guys too!!! You are just a little older and more independent; you are more used to mom traveling so I don't worry about you as much now. It doesn't mean I love baby Vi any more or less. You are all equal and special in my eyes.