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Tuesday, April 24, 2012

My kids are driving me crazy - Part 1

Earlier this week I wrote to Always Alleluia, a blogger with 4 kids and begged for advise.  "My 2 older kids have gone wild", I said, "please tell me how you handle 4 with cleaning and home schooling".

Her advise was simple, "The only advice I have is to try to include the siblings as much as you possibly can. This will blow over, but I think sometimes we just don't realize how upside down their little world feels to them"


"Give yourselves time to adjust. Every time we brought a new baby home, it was a couple of months of pure survival mode as we all figured out what was going on, but eventually, you will find your new groove. As for hose work and homeschooling.... we get the bulk of our school work done before lunch and that leaves afternoon/evening time for picking up."

Okay I that definitely helps but if there is anyone else out there with 3+ kids (looking at you Poorganics), I'd LOVE to hear your stories of how you settled in when #3 arrived.  

My limited knowledge (of 3 weeks) includes:
  • 3 year old has regressed in potty training (of one year) to having a daily accident (sometimes 3)
  • 1 year old screams MINE to just about everything and NO
  • Both clamor over who can stand in front of me, shoving each other out of the way
  • Both clamor over who can sit in my lap, pushing the other out of the way
  • They fight over toys and media constantly
In short, they are driving us crazy.  Would appreciate any and all advise from you experienced mom's.


Lisa White said...

I have four girls, 9, 7, 4 and 1 (very nearly 2). I think it is focusing on the good days, trying to build up good friendships between the siblings helps and remind them they love each other. I always make sure I have time to smoother them with cuddles and kisses, give them their own special time and let them know it is THEIR time :).

To be honest, I couldn't imagine having an age gap of less than two years. I found the 2 year age gap between my first two far harder than having 3 children. It is very individual, so I wouldn't like to say to much apart from, you will find your own way and it will work out xx

My 3rd child, although she adores her baby sister, didn't respond as well to baby and regressed to bed wetting after being dry. I've allowed her to co-sleep more recently and she's had more dry nappies recently and been much less stressy. I hope you find the way that works for you x

Katrina said...

Well, my advice might come across as complacent and irresponsible, but I think you should abandon all thoughts of discipline, order, and cleanliness. Just bribe the children, let them watch lots of TV, and kiss them a ton. Co-sleep, wear your PJs, order pizza, and forgive yourself for a few more months until your two big sibs forget about life before baby. At some point in parenting my kids, (who are much more widely space at 26 months apart), I realized that they WILL NOT remember everything I've been agonizing about since their birth. In fact, I have ALMOST NO truly concrete memories of my childhood before I was about 6 or 7. It is just this vague, happy, together blur. I am the middle child of siblings and I are all 23 months older and younger than me. I don't remember ANYTHING beyond a general "great childhood". The other day, I spent my entire day devoting my time, energy, reading, and cooking to give my 2.5 year old the PERFECT day. At the end of the day, I asked her to recall it for her father at dinner. She couldn't remember anything!!! BUT she was cheery, sweet, and happy. All they remember is being safe, fed, and loved. Beyond that, they don't. My point is, love them, put a Pull-up on Charlotte, and relax. Next month everything will be different, AND they won't remember that either. ;) I'm not saying that none of our other motherly concerns (like nutrition and discipline and hygiene) are important. I'm just saying that they can be a little less important until you are sleeping 6 solid hours at a time. LOVE AND PRAYERS.

rubberbacon said...

Thank you Katrina, trying to follow your advise one day at at time!

rubberbacon said...

Thanks Lisa, really appreciate your advise. Do you have a blog? Your Disqus name doesn't connect to anything.