Sunday, June 14, 2009

I had a bit of a panic attack this morning

This does not happen to me often so when it does I get quite bewildered. It all seemed to start around a pile of dirty dishes and bottles - no one could eat until dishes were done - at least that's what I told myself. So while baby tries to make the best of being stuck in a high chair with toys and cereal puffs I plow through the dishes like a women possessed. The water pitcher's empty, ack, gotta fill it up after every use and remind husband to do the same. I find that I left out 3/4 of an avocado (sob! I love these) and it's moldy and I left out the applesauce from yesterday's disastrous attempt to feed a stubborn baby solids. I finally manage to pack husband's lunch, eat my breakfast, all while keeping baby in the high chair which ends with me giving her bubble wrap to pop and crinkle!

Yesterday she managed to fall out/climb out (not sure which) of her walker, she wasn't hurt but we are convinced she will land on her head the next time so I can't put her in there unless I'm watching her. So that definitely contributed to morning stress because we usually put her in there and she scuttles around the house chasing cats and dogs and pulling stuff off shelves.

Before my husband leaves he notices my rattled nerves and asks if I want to talk about it. Nothing to talk about, I'm rattled, want to cry, despair, etc.

I pack baby up for church at 9:30, yeah we are early. Then I suddenly realize I've forgotten to give her the 9:00 bottle - egads! Pull her back out of the car seat, feed bottle and she promptly falls asleep. Carefully transfer her back to car seat and she sleeps till we get to church.

She cries as I hand her to the nursery staff, she's been doing this lately. Not sure why. I go to the bathroom to put on make up and take a xanax (not standard church activity but still rattled) so with a pretty face and calmer self I go to church. A nice older woman pats me on the back as I enter the pew, the songs are lovely, then mid-way through the service Charlotte's number comes up. Calm relaxed mom goes off to get rescue her baby.

Red faced and desolate she is. At this point there are 2 options: A - finish listening to the sermon in the cafeteria where it's very noisy and I have to hold her the entire time or B - find an available TV monitor which seems to be spread through the building broadcasting the sermon. I choose B, an empty hallway with a bench and a TV. At first she's content to be comforted and play with my shirt. That quickly gets old and she makes a bid for the floor. Why not? No one's around, why not let my child crawl all over the carpet in and out of doors in her hot pink Adidus track suit pants. She gives me a wicked gleeful look as if to say, I'm getting away with something and that's how we spent the remainder of church. Oh and quite a few people stopped by to say hi which just made her day even better, she loves saying hi.






C

2 comments:

cecemeetsworld said...

from about 1 till 18 mos is the separation anxiety season... I think the anxiety is split 50/50 between mom and baby at times. Hang in there. It does help that she is so cute that she should be illegal.

Hugs!

K said...

Good luck!

I hate days that start off like that.

My house is pretty dirty right now too. It stresses me out.