What kind of stubborn woman cuts open an avocado when it's not ripe?

This one, the one writing this. I happen to love avocado and is it my fault it's taking too long to ripen? So I open it even knowing it's not ripe. Hoping I'm wrong actually. I'm not, I've been eating them too long to be wrong. So I sit here eating a not ripe avocado while Charlotte brings me small cups to drink imaginary water from. At least the mango/rice/shrimp eaten with not ripe avocado were delicious.