Wednesday, April 07, 2010

Who does the chores around here?

Welcome to my first Working Mommy Wednesday! Inspiration & link found at Work, Wife,!

Household Chores! Here is how we split things:

Husband is a stay at home dad and his primary focus is care and happiness of Charlotte. I work full time at a toy company where I design toys and manage the entire development process.

At the beginning of our arrangement, I consulted with a co-worker who had been a stay at home dad for 6 years with his kids while his wife worked full time as a nurse. He being recently divorced, I asked what stresses were put on the marriage through his time as a stay at home dad. He said the worst part was cleaning the entire house before she got up from day time naps (she was a night nurse) only to have the kids trash the place minutes before she woke up and then she would complain about the mess. Fights about how a load of laundry wasn't thrown in. Fights about chores, why couldn't he do more. I decided at the beginning to come how and support my husband regardless of the condition of the home, I'd expect the same if the situation were reversed. I'm not perfect, I have at times raised an eyebrow to certain, ahem, conditions but I've really done my best to just be supportive.

So here is our breakdown:

* I do all the bills, grocery planning and laundry
* Husband works weekends so that is my exclusive time with daughter and I try to balance it with laundry + food planning for the week and usually grocery shopping although lately I've been slacking on this since it's getting really tough to do while pregnant and hauling around 21mo old!
* Husband does all the cleaning, trash, pet care, dishes, home & car maintenance - which he does with the "helping hands" of a 21 month old and after 8pm when she goes to bed. It usually takes all week to get through the basics.
* We both make dinner and depending on what time I get home is when we eat
* I jump in where ever I can with cleaning

The house is never perfect; there is always something to clean or do but we have so much joy and happiness that I have no complaints.


Julia said...

you have a SAHD too??? wow! we're like sistas!

great post! thanks for linking up!

i know, so many blogs are SAHM and i love that us working moms can come together!! :)

Jeannie said...

I enjoy hearing about other people's lives.

I think SAHDs are becoming more "popular". It sounds like your arrangement works well for you.

When is baby #2 expected?

Re: my Easter lily post - that was a blast from the past. my Lily is now 12 already. so hard to believe. I want you to remember this moment: when your little girl turns 12, think of me, telling this to you right will agree with the incredible swiftness of the passage of time!

Lisa @ This Mommy Works said...

You said it so right - "the house is never perfect..." - I could not agree with that more! A happy family is the most important!

Thanks for linking up :-)

crazywildberry said...

I think it's great that you sought the advise of a dad who was once a SAHD. Taking his experience into consideration was a very smart move. It's probably saving your relationship with Mike. It's so discouraging, some days, to be the stay at home parent. Rewarding with the kids though. I agree, good post.

Rachel M. said...

Thanks Crazywildberry, I tend to be a huge NAG! So I needed some perspective from another SAHD on what not to do and he basically said - don't nag!

Hi Jeannie - I'm due August first and I think it's so cool that your story is retrospective, it was really sweet.

Hi Lisa - nice to meet you, I'll be over your way soon.

Hi Julia - yeah for sistas! I've been looking for someone in my shoes for sometime now.