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Wednesday, April 07, 2010

Who does the chores around here?

Welcome to my first Working Mommy Wednesday! Inspiration & link found at Work, Wife, Mom...life!

Household Chores! Here is how we split things:

Husband is a stay at home dad and his primary focus is care and happiness of Charlotte. I work full time at a toy company where I design toys and manage the entire development process.

At the beginning of our arrangement, I consulted with a co-worker who had been a stay at home dad for 6 years with his kids while his wife worked full time as a nurse. He being recently divorced, I asked what stresses were put on the marriage through his time as a stay at home dad. He said the worst part was cleaning the entire house before she got up from day time naps (she was a night nurse) only to have the kids trash the place minutes before she woke up and then she would complain about the mess. Fights about how a load of laundry wasn't thrown in. Fights about chores, why couldn't he do more. I decided at the beginning to come how and support my husband regardless of the condition of the home, I'd expect the same if the situation were reversed. I'm not perfect, I have at times raised an eyebrow to certain, ahem, conditions but I've really done my best to just be supportive.

So here is our breakdown:

* I do all the bills, grocery planning and laundry
* Husband works weekends so that is my exclusive time with daughter and I try to balance it with laundry + food planning for the week and usually grocery shopping although lately I've been slacking on this since it's getting really tough to do while pregnant and hauling around 21mo old!
* Husband does all the cleaning, trash, pet care, dishes, home & car maintenance - which he does with the "helping hands" of a 21 month old and after 8pm when she goes to bed. It usually takes all week to get through the basics.
* We both make dinner and depending on what time I get home is when we eat
* I jump in where ever I can with cleaning

The house is never perfect; there is always something to clean or do but we have so much joy and happiness that I have no complaints.


Julia Ladewski said...

you have a SAHD too??? wow! we're like sistas!

great post! thanks for linking up!

i know, so many blogs are SAHM and i love that us working moms can come together!! :)

Unknown said...

I enjoy hearing about other people's lives.

I think SAHDs are becoming more "popular". It sounds like your arrangement works well for you.

When is baby #2 expected?

Re: my Easter lily post - that was a blast from the past. my Lily is now 12 already. so hard to believe. I want you to remember this moment: when your little girl turns 12, think of me, telling this to you right now...you will agree with the incredible swiftness of the passage of time!

Lisa said...

You said it so right - "the house is never perfect..." - I could not agree with that more! A happy family is the most important!

Thanks for linking up :-)

crazywildberry said...

I think it's great that you sought the advise of a dad who was once a SAHD. Taking his experience into consideration was a very smart move. It's probably saving your relationship with Mike. It's so discouraging, some days, to be the stay at home parent. Rewarding with the kids though. I agree, good post.

R. Molder said...

Thanks Crazywildberry, I tend to be a huge NAG! So I needed some perspective from another SAHD on what not to do and he basically said - don't nag!

Hi Jeannie - I'm due August first and I think it's so cool that your story is retrospective, it was really sweet.

Hi Lisa - nice to meet you, I'll be over your way soon.

Hi Julia - yeah for sistas! I've been looking for someone in my shoes for sometime now.