Saturday, January 13, 2007

I despise Piano Bars with a deep, very deep hatred

Warning, this is a very grumpy post. Currently I am residing at the Royal Garden hotel in Hong Kong. I've been here for 2 weeks and the staff has been lovely. The food is surprisingly good for a hotel (except for the Chicken Caesar Salad which had bones - I guess one is to remove the chicken from the salad to remove meat from bones???). Everything is very nice except I can no longer take the piano player. I've never one for sappy love songs and this guy has a booklet of them all! The hotel is 16 floors with an open center and wrap around balconies for every floor. The piano sits in the 3rd floor buffet restaurant and every night from 8pm – midnight, the same guy sings the same songs in the same order and he SUCKS so badly that I want to stab my eyes out with a spoon. Apparently this is a hot spot to go for birthdays and it is now 8:15 and I’ve already heard Happy Birthday twice!!!! – get it all over in one song for God’s sake. Currently he is playing "I can’t help falling in love with you" and he has just switched to "all you have to do is call and I’ll be there". I hate him with every ounce of my existence. My dinner companions will be ready in 30 minutes so I’m stuck here blogging about this hideous existence.

Moving on with Rammestien’s "Du Hast" playing on iTunes as loud as I can possibly crank it (my computer has a disappointingly low volume so don’t worry, the neighbors will not be frightened).

Earlier today I harassed the pool staff by pointedly ignoring ALL of their 3 most important rules.

  1. I refused to wear their stupid pool sandals that everyone shares. I made the guy call his manager and they brought me clean white slippers.
  2. I refused to put my Starbucks Tazo Zen tea in the fridge (they don’t allow outside drinks). The manager kindly stayed on the phone to say it’s not their policy but if I could kindly drink it within 10 minutes I could keep the drink. Yeah fat chance of that happening.
  3. I refused to take a shower before entering the pool. I had just taken a shower in my room and I will NOT shower outside in 65 degree weather. Perfect for the hot tub not for showering outside.

The first 2 were managed before entering the pool. The third happened after I selected a chair at the far end of the pool, went back to the front for towels, removed my outer clothing and began walking to the hot tub. I saw the old crabby pool manager watching me with his beady eyes and I knew he was going to run over and tell me to take a shower, the Chinese are sticklers for rules. The second I turned toward the hot tub he literally flew around the pool stopping only when I pointed at him and shouted No! I will not shower in front of you, go away. He scuttled away. Frustrated sigh.

Now I’m off to dinner with the Australian, Boss and Boss’s cousin.

No comments: