I look back on the posts written between 2008 and 2013 and want to give myself a hug and say it will get better. You will pay your bills, you will have money left over, you will not lose your job - in fact you will excel! You will move to Maryland and work from home. Your relationship with your husband will improve, you will eventually get full nights sleep AND add a 3rd child to the mix.
You poor thing, you had it rough. You had no idea motherhood balanced with a career could be so hard. I heard about a book recently called "Surprised by Motherhood". I think if I were to write one, it would be "Rattled by Motherhood" because in reading these posts I realized I was deeply shaken by the challenges in early motherhood. Glad it got better, glad I stayed close to God in the process.