Sam please stop eating dog food and hurling yourself backwards
We are sorry we dropped you on your head (one of your parents, who shall not be named because it could have easily happened to either of us). But hurling 20+ pounds of baby weight backwards unexpectedly will cause gravity to bring you to the carpet. I hope you've learned that babies can't fly. Please don't do this again.
And please stop eating the dog's food. I'll try to remember to pick it up every time I put you on the floor.