Exhaustion - to consume entirely.
This sums up how I feel. Breastfeeding is painful after two weeks of non-stop production. Add exhaustion to that and my entire body feels racked with pain. It's a good thing all other parts have healed from giving birth because now I can pay attention to the pains of caring for a newborn.
Guilt - feelings of culpability especially for imagined offenses or from a sense of inadequacy
I'm constantly feeling like I don't give Charlotte enough attention. When I'm feeding Sam I like to hid in my bedroom so I get caught up on drinks and snacks, maybe read some internet sites on my phone. Relax as much as possible because it reduces the pain. But I've started letting Charlotte into the bedroom so I can spend time with her too. She's into everything and driving me crazy, bouncing all over the bed, swinging her feet in my direction so I'm literally throwing her off which she thinks is funny. So while I have guests to help, I'll start locking her out again.
I need to get Sam on a regular eating schedule. He goes 4-5 hours in the night without eating but during the day wants fed every 2 hours. I think it's more due to waking from gas and then wanting to eat to be consoled rather than actual hunger.
I can't believe I'm considering going back to work in a week. These are crazy times!!!