Sunday, November 09, 2008

Naive moment in parenthood #32

Last weekend my mother-in-law came into to town for the weekend. I made big plans. The closer the visit got the grander my plans were made. I counted down the hours until total freedom to "get some stuff done".

Saturday afternoon I picked her up at the airport with Charlotte dressed in a pretty dress with a bib displaying "I love Grandma". We went straight to my favorite afternoon restaurant and at 3pm there was no one there. I pulled Charlotte out of her car seat and proudly handed her to her grandmother. She was polite for about 10 minutes until we had ordered our food and suddenly she had a wild screaming fit like none I had ever seen before. Her grandmother did everything imaginable to calm the baby, giving her a bottle which Charlotte refused to take even though I know she was hungry; after what seemed five minutes of nothing working I offered to try. She immediately calmed down and took the bottle from me. The rest of the day went as such. Charlotte would grin happily at her grandmother across the table but refused to be held.

So the next day I did the only thing logical, I left for the entire day so she could bond with her grandmother. Everything went fine!

Now I know what goes on in the church nursery! Today I dropped her off and told them I'd swing back in 10-15 minutes to check on her. See they don't put the child's number up on the big screen until mid-way through the service so she could be crying for 30-40 minutes without me knowing. I came back and she was having a terrible time of it so we retreated into the nursing mom's room.

It's tough! I didn't expect this from my little girl so soon. She's only 4 1/2 months old and she has such a strong preference for mom and dad.

I must admit it's a confirming moment of connection for a new mom to be able to calm her baby so completely and quickly when said child is seemingly inconsolable. I've been reading a book recommended by Potty Mummy, "Why Love Matters" by Sue Gerhardt and the overall theme is to regulate the babies levels so he/she can learn to be emotionally independent. It's awesome to be able to calm her down but at the same time, I'm going to keep taking her to church because I want her to learn to regulate her own levels and gain some independence from mommy and daddy.

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